Friends
(2004) - Updated. Added pictures for some people. Vaguely rearranged into order of oldest to newest. I got off my arse
and updated. Miraculous... The catholic
church has gotta look at my application for
Sainthood now.
NOTE: This is out of date. Get over it. I find it a hell of a
lot more amusing in its unedited form. Good times...
I love you guys... life wouldn't be possible without my mates.
While chatting on the net, I asked a friend of mine what I should add too my page, she replied with a page dedicated to her. Well Hayley this page is for you.... No it isn't but it gave me the idea of adding a page based on my friends. It will probably involve me talking about how warped their minds are but oh well.
Hey people I've decided to get off my arse and
do this part of my web page (the real reason is that I'm been threatened by
"my friends" at school so I better get on with it) I intend to add to
this slowly so your name may not be here at first. I'll add to this every
weekend except when I'm going out (like that'll ever happen) or I've got study
(*half heartedly* yay). I hope to also add pictures
here soon. Pictures will be above the people they refer to, and sorry they're not very good.
Hey Pictures from my video party are HERE.
Friends
– Now in vaguely chronological order! Wow!!
Disco Stu (1999) - I've know Stu since grade one. We
had a friendship of one upmanship brought on mainly by our mothers. To this day
I still love beating disco in test. Damn its fun, but unfortunately it doesn't
happen often. Stuart is well... he's 'harassed' a lot by Yongas
(so am I) and he has accumulated over the years the following nick names: Duck
Boy, ST, Boner Boy, Disco Stu and Monkey Stuart (I
know there are more but I can't think of them). I was going to explain how
these nick names came to light (aren't I mean) but I thought I better not as he
is a friend of mine (he actually threatened my life). Any way Stuey has an attribute that we all like to make fun of at
school. His hands shake more than Mahumad Ali in an
earthquake. I swear. He draws his pictures for chemistry free hand, lets just say his beaker sand test tubes look more like
characters from the TV cartoon "Dr Katz". You'd trust a recently
escaped skitso having an epileptic fit in a bomb
scare before him. Its just not natural.
(2000) - He has also been declared school captain for our school this year, and leads the biggest dungar group of prefects (defects) which have ever had the opportunity to lead our fine school. We have prefects that have told Miss May (deputy principal, bitch with balls) to "Fuck Off", we have others who'll get with anyone and everyone, and others who well... are just plain lazy (sleep in class). But enough of them, back to Stuart. Lately (Aug 2000), he played "Bad Bart" in our school musical "How the West was Warped". Definitely an interesting performance, and okay... he played the character well, but his theme music; he was right when he said it sounded like a song from a dirty strip male strip joint. Dance Stuey! Dance!
(2004) - Man that picture cracks me up.
(2004b) - Added new picture from engagement party.
More up to date....
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Yongas (1999) - Real name: Peter. To put it simply Peter craves attention. He'll do some of the most whacked out things just to get people to laugh at him. He is truly a warped person but I must say this: I think normal people are boring, so keep up the weirdity Pete. In the time I have known him I have seen he has a tendancy to make up his own words. But this usually ends up with us finding out the word already exists and has a "colourful" meaning. For example his word Donck (pronounced vaguely donk) which, to him, means half a donkey half a dog (don't ask). But really this is slang for Penis. Doush well this was the sound that was made when someone was hit in a crappy movie (the sound slightly re-worked though). He also added little things like doush fest. Doush really means a vaginal wash!!! That's right 2 out of 2 he's gotten. Warped but funny!!! Peter thinks a lot of himself too. He describes himself in his icq info as such:
*Hi, I'm yongas and I be the pimpingest hep cat that ever dealed
in the "occupation". No one can beat my gold tooth, my big feathered
hat, my fluro coloured tench coat and my fasionable cane. In a quote to describe me a heavely combed asain once said:
"Petersh you are fuckingsh
uncle fuckersh, stop talkshaboutsh chish beesh"
My favorate saying right now is:
"Wha you say me, SheeKno"*
Or as he other icq info says:
*I am a fairly weird Person I like jokes and I love to laugh
I'm the head G in my 'hood'.
The main man in my cribe
The most Legendary man in the world WHHOO HA HA HA
As you can see I have a very low self image*
And you doubted me when I said he was weird. Strange, strange boy; but that's what makes him popular in our group. Couldn't do without him.
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Homo slutus
(1999) - Real name: Sven (well not really but hey). Daniel is visiting from
(2001) - While talking to good ol' Sven on the internet the other day (Feb 2001) he said some kind words referring to my "significant spatial radius" as he put it which I would like to share with you -
........."He's man enough for both of
us.
..........Hell, he's man enough for everyone.
..........Hey, everybody, bring a
bucket!"
(2004) - He's not racist! He just hates black people and foreigner
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Satan (1999) - Real name:
Lucifer and Ben M. This guy here has been
after my soul for years. He has come close but after all his hard work he has
only been able to take my metabolism when I was a young child. He has currently
got a girlfriend and has been sighted taking her to the closest
(2001) Ben is now in the Army, as an Infantry Man. He uses guns; big guns; which kill people. I have seen pictures of him with his guns, if he could he'd make love to his gun (and maybe blow off his balls trying), but I know for sure I have never felt safer about the country's defence and never more sorry for our enemies.
(2004) - Big update, satan
himself is now married and living happily with his parents at
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Peter C (1999) - Peter is a god (yes I was forced to say this). He is above us all. There is no one who drives the women as mad as he. He turns the heads of all the girls. Pete is also the most intelligent person I know. I guarantee he will be the person to finally completely figure out quantum physics. His mind has reached a new plane of evolution. I worship him, I bow down to him and thank him for his patience with such a lower form of life as I. I offer you my service my lord. Now that I've come down from my high I have realised the error of my ways and would like to announce this is all complete bullshit. Well some of it. He is fairly smart (unfortunately smarter than me). Pete also plays baseball and reassures me he's good at it. I believe him *cough cough bullshit cough*. Hmmm well I'm gonna be hit. He also has a skill at playing playstation games, a useless skill but one which he can claim to have. He has written specifically for this web page (thanks are in order) the Top Ten Albums of the Decade. Click here to read it.
(2001) Peter has received the same OP as me 7, and if you were in our chemistry class you would know we did nothing all year. Squat, Diddly, Nada, FUCK ALL! Great what can get when you don't try hey?
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Michael M (1999) - This guy is a traitor to his school (not that I could care about my school). He left his friends and his school so he could go to a "private school". I'm not dissing private schools but I've realised a few changes in him. You know we used to go out and lie in a gutter and get drunk. Now he acts as if its dangerous or something. I swear I let one rip and he looks at me as if I'm juvenile. He used to enjoy stalking girls but now he takes "legal studies" and says he doesn't want to go to jail for years. That never worried him last time. He told me he quite liked his roommate "Barry". Its not like the bleeding wont stop a second time. And when was the last time he killed a guy? Ok, Ok last week, but its not the same. Its so... "humane". When was the last time you shot to wound then got the wolf pack on to them? Hey?! I've got you in my sights sycophant, all it takes is a little red dot and BANG! Any way I should probably say something real here. Um well he is obviously going to a private school. He used to be in my science class in Yr 10. We had a bitch of a teacher. Once when I was asking her a question in class he sat there and whispered stuff like "ask her about lesbian sex", "ask her how gays do it". Unfortunately she heard it!!! We got kept in for it and we were told "never to sit next to each other again". Ahhhhhhahahaha the memories. Also Mikey has added some really weird things to my website, all of which he has created himself: Michael's own and implemented version of "Fun things to do in Public Toilets" involving the 6 most original and essential practical jokes all fully described (and some have even been tested in the field), and "Some Guiding Principals for Great Wanking".
(2004) - Led a sordid life so far. Stripper for a short time. Chef at Bulimba, the Hilton and now Perisher Blue, where he's having a fantastic time. Damn him. Already nickname 'Monty' down there for stripping for some chicks B'Day.
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Jacqui S (1999) - (see here with St) Well now St's going out with Jacqui here so I can't insult her at all, damn I should've done it earlier. No I wouldn't insult you *cough cough bullshit cough*. So till I think something up this is remaining blank.
(2000) - Finally I shall fill
in the missing gaps about the mysterious Jacqui. A mathematical genius, who
sucks our brain waves out of our skull, in maths c, leaving us dazed and
confused, wondering who we are and what possessed us to take such an extra
maths class. As mentioned above, dating Disco Stu for
about a year now (Jun 2000) and I could see them going on to be married;... well not if she has anything to do with it. I can see
her having many, MANY kids as she loves them all and fully believes that giving
birth is worth the screaming and the fighting which results a few years down
the track, as they slowly but surely drive you insane and you find yourself
naked in the front yard howling like an animal, gnawing on the head of your
neighbours pet dog thinking of what you... *Doyle slaps himself and takes more
of the little red pills*. Sorry about that. Jacqui has also helped and supported
me on my many endeavours to take over the world and was personally present as I
walked into the Senate of Pakistan and declared myself the new dictator. As a
token of my appreciation I ravaged
(2004) - I guess I should have wished them better luck since they broke up back
in 2001, and she's now dating Joel McKell.
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Adam R
(1999) - Well Robbo here is a lumberjack, plain and
simple. He is a great example of what Australians can be if they put their mind
to it. A YOBBO. That's right, beer drinking, footy
watching, foul mouthing, meat pie eating, esky
carrying: yobbo. Well maybe not but he's still a great bloke. Any women who doesn't find him attractive has got real problems.
He participates in a Brazilian martial art called: Capoeria
(mind the spelling). Its a dance martial art, but its
no where near as pouncy as it sounds. They could kick
your arse any day of the week. Though what I have seen is VERY limited it seems
like a pretty cool martial art involving a lot a kicks, jumps, flips etc, with
very few punches. Adam is also the captain/leader.. something of his swimming club. Stuart being the captain of
the
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Jared G (1999) - Jared is one of the luckiest guys I know. In HIS own words he has the most beautiful girlfriend in the world. Though this is not why I consider him lucky. He is lucky cause he simply has this girl who loves him deeply, who he spends her time with him and who he has now been dating for, I think, 9-12 months. Jared is also part of the band "U - Phoria" (who's lyrics are featured on this page). He won best drummer in the high school rock semi's and rightly deserves it too. He's a bit of a surfer/ body boarder and I am told on good authority he's damn good at it too. He spends more time down the coast than in Brissy itself. Well ok maybe not but he is going to go to uni down there, and live the rest of his life down there as a sports teacher, surfing in his spare time. Now there's planing. In English some one called him "Fabio" (because of his hair, pic coming soon) and as he seemed to get cut up about this I think I will repeat it. FABIO!!!! No, but you do know what they say about blondes and brains. Well its wrong. This bugger beat me in chemistry and english so I can't comment (damn).
(2004) - Apparently ended up marrying Mellisa Wincon. Big surprise. Congratulations! Added photo, from last day of Biology. He tried to lick me. I stuck my hand in his lap. The sea was angry that day my friend... boy did it flow.
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Crisander C (1999) - Well in Cris's own words she's "Beautiful, sexy, intelligent, talented, witty, funny, sophisticated, rich, a great friend, and so incredibly, totally and utterly MODEST. In my words she's FULL OF IT!!!! : ) Nah Cris is the 'majority' of those things. Unfortunately she has way to much money, she's past rich. I'll have to help her spend it I guess. See what a nice friend I am? She's also been named the school's "Queen of Gossip". She can extract information out of any one. She's the person at school who knows the most about me (well used to be).... and god that scares me. Hope I never piss her off. The school would know more then it would need to then. But she wouldn't do that... I hope. Would you Cris? *Weak smile*.
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Rachael - My lovely cousin Rachael. An interesting young lady who unfortunately finds herself in WAY to
much trouble for her own good. She's had only a FEW boyfriends over the
years (yeah right... they could be counted to a power of 10). She's beautiful
and lovely and smart and just like Cris, full of it too : ) Nah she isn't. But don't insult her or you may find
yourself in a verbal war you could not possibly win. One of her favourite
things is to screw with peoples minds online. Because they can't hear your
voice they can't tell if you're serious or not. I have many a time participated
in such acts, which involves talking to the victim collecting information,
sending on to the harasser which then uses it to fuck with their minds. Some
favourites are: pretending to be a stalker (simple but fun) and talking insane
bullshit while vaguely referring to people they know. But anyway, she's a great
girl to talk to about your problems and I'm glad I've had her to listen to me.
She means tonnes to me and I'm glad your my mate
Rachael.
(2004) - Not an actual cousin dickheads. I met her
online in '99. Never met her in person but we keep in contact through email and
phone calls to this day. Thats
6 years. Not a bad effort for a friend I've never laid eyes on. It's weird,
knowing someone and not knowing them at all.
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Kate Winslet (1999) - Real name: Elli S. I'm not really sure how Kate came to be on my list, great going by me so far. Ah well, back to the weirdity. Well me and the beautiful Kate are planning to go out dinning and dancing. We'll go to the opera (called Triple J operates), go to an expensive restaurant (sizzler's) and go dancing at a respectable location (a party at a friends house). We will then finish with a cruise on the Titanic. After I have escorted this lovely lady home and said goodnight I will saddle my horse, grab my sword and defeat the evil dragon known as "the University of Queensland" as they have given her, a lady of such stature, a crap internet connection. After destroying this evil being I will return to her to recover from my wounds from the battle. Ahhhhh I scare myself, but she's a one cool chick. By the way you all must all refer to me as Heath Ledger from now on. I no longer respond to Aaron Doyle.
(2004) - Internet friend. No longer applicable. Long gone.
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Hayley Kim (1999) - Hayz
lives in "a hole in
(2004) - Internet friend. Still keep in contact a few
times a year. Nice girl. Deserves all the happiness in the world...
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(These pictures were taken on
my brothers web cam)
Corgi (2000) - Courtney
S (Currently my wonderful and sexy girlfriend) - Definitely the most
wonderful person I've ever met (I'm writing this with her while on the phone to
her by the way so yes she knows what I've written). Incredibly mature, acts her
age and is the most stern faced individual of the
group. She claims to be my guardian angel but she is constantly trying to
blackmail me with my secrets I so foolishly reveal to her, yeah I feel real
safe. Also I didn't see her around protecting me when that baseball flew at my
balls... some guardian. In fact I think she's the one who threw it.
Though only 16, she has two daughters, age 7 and 9, and it is claimed that
Satan (see above) is their father. Yet the darklord
and "her holiness" only dated 9 months and have recently departed
each other to their separate worlds (I think she is due again soon as well but
not to the aforementioned being). She holds a special place in her heart for
children, and I don't mean caring for them as she would like us to assume. This
special "tendency" involves a paedophiliac obsession with their tiny
little selves (and their even smaller sexual organs which she playfully touches
at every opportunity). It is rumoured of her keeping records and videos of her
"experiences" with them and that she keeps several locked up in a
cage in the corner of her room.
She always thought, being a private school girl, she was too good for us and
our yobbo group. But we soon brought her down, from her heavenly sanctuary, to
our level of immaturity and insanity. She claims to be a good
"Seventh Day Adventist" girl, who by the way aren't permitted
to eat meat. But often I have seen her at school tearing into the dead carcass
of a freshly killed steer, which she has hunted down and killed with her won
hands.
Her lesbian urges are not just contained to one or two females,
she seems to have had a sexual encounter with... EVERY female
in the group as well as several in other groups across the school.
Look at the subjects she does: Drama (with the the
lesbian mistress of Mansfield High Miss Stewart), Early Childhood Studies
(Paedophilia once again revealed) and legal studies (which she informed us all
about bestiality one lunch time. She seemed to enjoy the topic A LOT).
Wrapping it up, she really is a down to earth girl who loves to share herself
around and brightens everyone's day with her crazy but lovable ways. : )
(2004) - Another large update: Court and I are now engaged and are planning on
getting married in April 2005.
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Bruce S (2000) - We've all heard the Monty Python jokes
about Aussies called Bruce. Well Bruce here proves them. He's a whacked out,
French speaking, raging homosexual with the intelligence to match that of Mr
Miller (our physics teacher). Well... maybe not, but he does speak French! So I
wasn't lying completely. Nah he's a great guy with a "different"
sense of humour. Most people think he's a hardworking, quiet individual with no
unusual aspects until they talk to him and get to know him, revealing his
perverted jokes and general insanity. Physics wouldn't be the same with out
him.
(2004) - Got car. Lost car. Got new
car. Worked full time at Wollies.
Quit full time at Woolies. Part
time at Wollies.
If you ever see a guy getting drunk... running towards Kodak Beach at Southbank... somehow losing clothing along the way...
belittling his own penis size... maybe screaming like a banshee while
attempting to let the urine soaked water 'take him'... you've met Bruce. Also added photo from Schoolies at Noosa.
While I have many photos of Bruce much funnier than this I have none scanned in
and I can't be fucked doing it by myself. To update my scanning on my
scanner would take atleast 12 hours of intense scannage action.
---------------------// ---------------------//
Adrian S (2000) - The
loudest guy in our group. No matter how awkward and silent it is
(2004) - Added photo. Still doing
Uni. Loves computers. Quiet.... like a fox!
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Johno
L (2000) - Real
Name: Johnson Luu - A very cool sware guy. He does
modelling for "Gucci" and is usually found to be surrounded by thousands
of adoring female fans. He warns me that he could have any ones girlfriend he
wants... and once you see how masculine this guy is... you'd believe it too.
Not only that but he has charm that makes women's hearts melt. If flirting was
a martial art: he would be a grand master. You have to give up the ciggies
though Johnno. Your as bad
as a chimney.
(2004) - Added photo. Photo of me
and Johnson in the last day of Biology in year 12. He now works out at
the local gym to get all buff and steal me away from Courtney. I know his evil
plan... and whole heartedly welcome it *growls*.
---------------------// ---------------------//
Chrish Beash (2000) - Ok Chris got cut when he didn't
see his name with anything beside it. The fact is Chris I'm lazy. Anyway he
wrote in my guestbook and he said I should write this about him (word for word)
-
~ @"Chris is great, everyone loves Chris, Chris is the greatest guy ever, he can get any chic he wants [hint hint get me one i want], he's so loved, everyone loves him [including everyone else], life would have no meaning if Chris wasn't around to give us a direction, Chris is such a king person, Chris also is smarter than Einstein, he just refuses to do well in school because he doesn't want to be subject to experiment... HELL just put Chris does well in school while bludging [well at least that bit's true]... Chris is so talented, Chris is such a sexy beast...".@ ~
Well personally I wouldn't have
used those words but yeah that's Chris for you. Seriously now he's a good bloke
(even though he's acts incredibly homosexual at times. You'll just be standing
there and suddenly you feel the arm on you, or hand on your shoulder, and arm
AROUND YOU.... at first you think. Which chick is this? And you turn around and
there's his ugly (sorry I mean sexy) mug staring you in the face
: ) . But he is a good guy and a good mate. See yas
later tonight sexy...
(2004) - And now I put my arm around people to freak them out. Wow I'm 4 years
behind the pyscological development of Chris. Bugger. Also added photo from last day of
Maths C.
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Keegan Lal (2000): Audio
engineer, Audiophile, Mad scientist, Pyrotectnicist
and lady cone suer ... aka Squeegs
(or so he tells me) - Keegan's a techno head, who rides around in his $10,000
WRX (bass on full), chats on the internet to his hot American girlfriend, and
watches DVD porn all day. I mean who wouldn't, its so
clear you can everything! He has a younger sister Clalvish
Lal, woah! Hottest girl I've ever met. Shes like a porn
star but with an Adam's apple and hairy legs. She's got her own home DVD
movie Jarvish..... I mean Keegan made with her.... 1
word.... everything! *Drools*
The "real" Keegan is a good bloke. Can make
some damn funny calls but can also make some classic "Keegan's"
(calls which stop all conversation due to their incredible... badness). But in
his defence these are becoming few and far between nowadays. He enjoys riding
his bicycles (to a point which scares me) and loves all his technical sound
equipment and computer parts etc. Pretty much he's a rich yuppy
with a fair amount of money to splurge which I would be more than happy to be.
As many know he has made his own song, about one of his most favourite people
in the world Jarvish Lal (the one i
was really talking about in the paragraph above). As a
"Aaron Doyle's Weird Arse Web Page" special we bring you Keegan's
Master piece: Bullshit Javish (Click
to download it).
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|
|
Left
- Amy dressed as a prostitute at my 21st.
|
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Amy P (2004) - A
refreshing angel of truth and sincerity? Or sarcastic
demon woman out for blood?
Amy is the most sarcastic person I know. If you give her an opening she will
shoot you down in flames, and throw petrol onto the burning wreckage. She'd
piss on you to put you out, just so she can kick you while you're down and
douse your carcass again. If sarcasm took physical form and met her on the
street, it would run whimpering to its mummy. After first meeting her you will
question your entirety or grab the closest firearm and hunt her down. What evil
nexus of supernatural energies combined to create this being is beyond me
but... for some reason I wouldn't have it any other way. Not only do I enjoy
her shooting down everyone who opens their mouth within a 5 kilometre radius, I
even enjoy it when she insults me. I get it. I should come home and cry myself
to sleep some days but it cracks me up. I understand her (or so I think anyway)
and I can tell when it's only sarcasm (which makes it difficult when I know
it's not sarcasm). It's amusing when she
jumps on what I've said and twisted it to the point where even I question what
I meant. She's one of those people who make my life less painful no matter how
bad it is... even though I sarcastically sigh around her more times than anyone
else.
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To be harassed: (ie. Couldn't be fucked or don't know what to write).
Joel M - (2004) - Dating
Jacqui Sewell. Works with my sister. She really
saves the day.
Aleisa M - (2004) - NA
-
Doug B - (2004) - NA - Dougie dissappered from the Earth for the group after partaking Tafe for a year, in 2001, and working full time, giving him
little to no time to socialise.
Jacqui H - (2004) - NA - Got engaged. Possibly married? Just lost contact over the years. Dissapointing...
but understandable.
Jason P - (2004) - Still here... likes music. Is
a builder...
Daniel K - (2004) - NA - No longer asian.
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Griffiths - Doesn't even need to be said.
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