Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic.

* The Titanic is big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.

* Yoda could've used the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.

* Leia is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi
   material.  Rose is just marriage bait.

* Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or
   steerage.

* When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge couldn't say, "Look
   at the size of that thing!" and *really * mean it.

* It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by a
   raving madman with a lightsaber as opposed to a handgun.

* Titanic is egalitarian by portraying poor people as
   sympathetic characters.  Star Wars is egalitarian by
   promoting bug-eyed amphibians to Admiral.

* Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral does NOT lose his ship.

* We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and
   treats his fiancee like property.  We know Darth Vader is the
   bad guy 'cause he strangles people & blows up planets for fun.

* Yeah, Leo can dance, but can he fly an X-wing? 
   *NOTE * Is this a scary premonition:  Attikin DeCaprio?

* Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. 
   Leia braves Jabba the Hutt.

* There are always enough escape pods in Star Wars.

* Do you know what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings
   of the world?"

* If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking
   ship, he would use the Force to get the key.

* Nothing has the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."

* Han is frozen in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament.
   Leo simply freezes.

* Han Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!

* We knew the boat was gonna sink.  But who could've antici-
   pated, "Luke....I am your father."?

* Stormtroopers blast big holes in stupid minor characters;
   everyone in Titanic was a minor character.

* When Star Wars was proclaimed coolest movie of all time by
   half of planet earth, George Lucas did not make a fool of
   himself at the Oscars.

* Titanic morals: 1) gamble, 2) cheat on your husband,
   3) pose nude for pictures, 4) premarital sex is OK if
   you're infatuated, 5) let undesirables drown.

   Star Wars morals: 1) fight evil, 2) do good, 3) respect
   all life even if it's ugly and slithers, 4) rescue
   princess, 5) save planet