**YOUR MISSION IF YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT IS...

1) When taking a shit casually roll the toilet paper to halfway, wipe your mother fucken ass and roll the it back up.  Keep in mind as you do this try to keep a straight face as you imagine the poor son of a bitch that finds your nasty surprise.

2) While amusing yourself in a cubicle tear up little bits of toilet paper, soak them in piss and slyly wait for your next victim. When some one jumps in the cubicle beside you, lob over a few little "gifts" to the victims surprise.

3) Once again wait for your victim to arrive in a cubicle near you (stalk if you must).  When they do start making constipated groans, pants and pushes. Try not to laugh as you hear the the sick mother fucker beside you crack up in a ball of laughter and fall off the bowl.

4) This one will cost you around 40 cents.  Buy some lollies, eg: Tic Tacs.  Wait in your cubicle until someone sits in the one beside you again.  Leave them for a while, just to get settled in and comfortable. Then when they're least expecting it lean over the ofyour cubicle into theirs and say "Wazzzuuuup! I couldn't help overhearing you in there, Wanna Tic tac?" in a loud voice.  If that doesn't work and they only have that half stunned look of fear on their face, simply say "So you use this cubicle often?"        
*WORKS A CHARM ON MANAGERS*

5) Same as No 1.  This time after unrolling the toilet paper, instead of wiping your arse simply spit inside a condom (preferably not used), insert it in the toilet roll and roll that mother fucker back up.

6) Purchase a rod looking dildo, smear the top in vegemite or your own crap.  Roll it under the cubicle beside you and ask the guy next to you to pass it back.

* REMEMBER WHILE DOING ALL THIS KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE SLY BASTARD THAT PRETENDS TO LEAVE THE TOILET BUT WAITS FOR YOU OUTSIDE TO SEE WHO YOU ARE, BE CAREFUL GRASSHOPPER*