A Few Hours in the Life of... Mikey McDonald
By Michael McDonald

2:00 - Put on uniform, Gloves, Balaclava. Occupation
Guerrilla Terrorist in food industry.

2:15 - Area secure. Piss in Tomato and herb Soup.
Success.

2:23 - Fart on merangues, nearly caught, embarrassing
moment with pants down in cool room but success.

2:37 - Cream Of Blue Berry pie, well I'll leave it to your
Imagination.

2:45 - Get the hell out of there.

3:05 - Arrive home.

3:10 - I fell down.

3:12 - I attempt to get my sorry arse off the ground!

3:15 - I'm still down.

3:34 - Well my sister decides to show her itchy itchy
face.

3:35 - I stand again.

3:36 - I stumble to the toilet.

3:38 - I am now well underway in developing a small
country.

3:45 - There was a lot of screaming, pushing, splashing
and gallons of blood. It was terrible but the right
team won.

3:46 - I clean myself up.

3:46:30 - God my Arse hurts.

3:46:45 - Man I think it's still bleeding.

3:46:55 - I hope I'm going to be alright.

3:47 - A fart sneaks up on me, I kill it silently but a
chunk comes out. I thought I'd got it all, The
humanity!

3:58 - After an embarrassing last ten minutes of cleaning
and explaining to the family, the ordeal is now over.

4:05 - A noise outside!

4:06 - Come out of cupboard and examine outside.

4:07 - Observations Conclusive: Local Gang, I can see
them in the distance. There's two of them (but there
cunning I may be surrounded). They look about 3-5,
yeah real troublemakers on their tri-cycles.

4:08 - I've been seen! Fuck I'm in real trouble now.

4:08:30 - Quick thinking and adrenalin aspires me, IM
FROZEN!

4:08:40 - FUCK IT!

4:08:46 - I give chase!

4:09 - I see the look of fear in their hardened eyes.
For that second I felt like a God

4:12 - Tearing down the street, God their fast.

4:20 - I'm fucked but there mine.

4:20:30 - FACES=CONCRETE x 7=BLOOD=PLENTY OF IT!

4:21:12 - I'm resting now.

4:22 - My arse still hurts.

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