Immediate Employment

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Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group.

An  unexpected position has opened up in the Dark Side Consulting Group for   an Apprentice Sith Lord.  The ideal candidate for this  position would like   galactic  travel  and  possess  a  complete   understanding  of,  and competence with the Force, or demonstrate a willingness to learn.

Duties   include:   Performing   competitive    intelligence,   hands-on intervention  in support of the Sith Master's planning initiatives, ability to  travel the galaxy widely, and operating a variety of laser-powered hand weapons and high-powered space/air vehicles. Some slaying of enemies of the Dark  Side is also required, which may be performed using the Force or hand weapons.  Qualified  applicants  would  possess  good communications skills (especially   when   speaking   in    menacing   whispers),   and  would  be action-oriented individuals and risk takers.   A background in study of the Force  (light side or dark) is desirable, as would typically be acquired by those   with  advanced  degrees or significant course work in Jedi Arts from the University of Coruscant.

Applicants   should   also   be  familiar  with   holographic  projection equipment,  possess  a  valid   galactic pilot's license (for all classes of ships), and must show a willingness to give in to their hate.

A  proven  track record of using fear and/or Jedi mind tricks to control others  is  also  desirable,  as  is  the ability to speak several galactic languages.   Ideal candidates for this position would also have no children or  other living relatives who are strong in the ways of the Force.   (A new hire would be given several weeks to meet this requirement.)

Compensation  for  this position is commensurate with experience, and is extremely competitive for this field. Benefits include a generous severance package,   a  company  starship,  and a dark-colored clothing allowance. The Apprentice Sith Lord reports to and works closely with the Sith Master, and experience   in such small, team-based organizations is vital to the success of the master's plans.

Discretion  is  also  highly valued, as is the ability to see the future before  it  happens.  Applications  will be accepted until the end of July. Transmit them to jobs@darkside.com.

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Dark  Side CG (TM) is a small and highly-focused organization, founded a long time ago in a galaxy far away.  Our core values reflect the short-term advantages  of   harnessing hatred for institutional power and the long-term desirability  of   controlling  the  galaxy. We  provide direction to our partner   organizations  through knowledge management, incident control  and our rapid on-site intervention expertise.

Our partnered organizations include the Imperial Senate, the Hutt Gambling Collective of Tattooine, and many large software companies.

Dark Side CG (TM) is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft.