ATTENTION ALL STAFF

In order to assure the highest of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employeesmore S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. onthe job, please see your manager. You will be immedietlyplaced at the top of the S.H.I.T. list and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you'll get all the S.H.I.T.you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employees Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T.anymore and are full of S.H.I.T. already.

IF you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in training others.We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get S.H.I.T jobs and can apply for promotion to the Director of IntensityProgramming (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head ofTraining at Special High Intensity Programming (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.)

Thankyou
Management